“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.” ~ Mary Manin Morrissey
Fear can be a huge boulder in any writer's path, preventing her from being able to see that there might be a way to work with, even capitalize on, its universality.
Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to notify us that we are at the edge of our comfort zone, poised in between the old life and a new one. Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new territory, both inside and out.
Many would-be authors let their fears keep them from embracing their writerly possibilities.Which type of fear keeps you from fulfilling your writing goals? Here is just a small sampling (based on my clients' and my own experiences):
• Fear of change(s)
• Fear of the unknown
• Fear of failing
• Fear of succeeding
• Fear of getting outside the "comfort zone" (those comfortable but stinky slippers)
• Fear of being too old/too young to write a memoir
• Fear of being seen as frivolous or vain
• Fear of losing money – no guarantees
• Fear of being broke
• Fear of having to BE AN AUTHOR ("Will I have to pump out books like Stephen King for the rest of my life?")
• Fear of not having what it takes(discipline, talent, passion)
• Fear of being wrong (too many typos and grammatical errors)
• Fear of not being able to begin (or finish!)
• Fear of humiliation or what friends, family or colleagues will think
• Fear of self-delusion; that your folly -- fallacious or grandiose thinking -- will be exposed as such
• Fear of no longer having this goal (dream?)
• Fear of lawsuit of physical retaliation (from those that think you're REALLY writing about them!); and finally, the biggest fear of them all:
• Fear of being human (just one more, ordinary schmo on the bus).
The point of this list is for us to see that we all have fears! It's called being conscious. If we don't feel fear, we may be suffering from PTSD (a kind of numbness born of trauma), or we could be a sociopath, or at least at risk of being one, one who has no capacity for empathizing with other living beings. But, my guess is that most of us suffer from neither of these troubling conditions.
The majority of us feel fear and wish we didn't get stopped by this fact of human existence. Well, I'm here to tell you, there’s no way around it, just through it. Everybody can find ways to confront and move through their fears. I say to myself and my clients, “Just keep walking!” All dark tunnels have openings.
“I had been my whole life a bell, and never knew it until at that moment I was lifted and struck.” ~ Annie Dillard
While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honor our fear, recognizing its arrival, listening to its intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that what we are doing (or about to do) is significant.
When we work with, or befriend our fears, we can take the focus off resisting them (the main reason we're all so exhausted, let's face it) and commit to our readers. After we have made the mental commitment to complete our book ,or other writing, we will have evidence -- in our hands -- that fears can be walked through, perhaps even worked through, at least for today.
~
The above essay by Jennifer Manlowe is "lifted" from her book Getting Into Print, which can be ordered here.
Be sure to schedule a 30-minute complimentary phone consultation to see how this kind of coaching works. Make an appointment via telephone: (206) 617-8832 or email: jlmanlowe@gmail.com.
CAN FEAR BE A USEFUL TOOL FOR AN AUTHOR?
The majority of us feel fear and wish we didn't get stopped by this fact of human existence. Well, I'm here to tell you, there’s no way around it, just through it. Everybody can find ways to confront and move through their fears. I say to myself and my clients, “Just keep walking!” All dark tunnels have openings.
Jul 1, 2010
WHAT SHOULD I KNOW ABOUT WRITING?
If you're still struggling to get your manuscript written and complete, please, get the support you need, don't wait until "someday"—it rarely, if ever, arrives. But, if you're a writer or entrepreneur, you probably know all the great reasons to write a non-fiction book. As a published author, you are regarded as an expert in your field.
May 1, 2010
ARE YOU ALL YOU THINK ABOUT?
Why is unfettered concentration so elusive to most adults? Whether it's money, love, personal achievements or the successes of our loved ones, so many of us are preoccupied with wondering and worrying about “how we’re doing?” We rarely take time to just wonder, let alone be with our lives, our world around us.
Apr 1, 2010
CULTIVATE YOUR BRAND BY WRITING ESSAYS
The next time someone says you need to spend money on advertising or a new logo or promotional items to “build your brand” remember this article. Then think about all the ways you can give your customers a good experience every time they have contact with you/your business.
Mar 1, 2010
OVERCOMING CREATIVE CHALLENGES
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” ~ Dale Carnegie
Feb 1, 2010
WILL COACHING MAKE MY RESOLUTIONS COME TRUE?
Coaching is not the same as advice giving, it's a lot more like serving the client in bringing forth what is within them waiting to be born. I'm more of their mid-wife than their trainer with a whistle in my mouth. The fierceness of-a-professor-who-cares is still there but that energy is much more focused on supporting my clients in turning their insights into rewarding actions.
Jan 1, 2010
WHAT IF YOUR ONLY WORK WAS TO CREATE A GREAT LIFE?
The most important element for breaking out of scarcity-misery (assuming security can be found "out there") is by having support that helps you see what's possible.
Dec 1, 2009
WHAT IF MY INNER CRITIC IS A TRAINED ASSASSIN?
It's not about "what if?" it's about "what to do when I’m sidelined by my inner critic(s)?" Here are ten things that I do and what I recommend you consider trying...
Nov 1, 2009
GATHERING COURAGE THROUGH LISTENING
What if pausing and listening patiently could give us greater power to see clearly, to live courageously?
Oct 1, 2009
I COULDA BEEN SOMEBODY!
Terry Malloy, a former middle-weight boxer, (played by Marlon Brando), speaks to his brother, Charlie, in the back of their car in the 1950s movie, On the Water Front, it is clear that his reflections express regrets for not taking more risks during the first half of life.
Sep 1, 2009
GETTING REAL
When you're self-disclosing, you're less apt to get caught up in illusion of control. After all, "Motive = self-expression," not trying to change others. Being vulnerable with people makes you less likely to trigger their defensive reaction(s). Going public helps you see yourself more honestly.
Aug 1, 2009
WHICH DISNEY CHARACTER ARE YOU?
When you take these little quizzes on Facebook, they can be one way, a harmless way, to “get out there.” As Opera Diva Beverly Sills warns us, “You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.”
Jul 1, 2009
ACKNOWLEDGE AND INSPIRE!
How often do you celebrate progress made in any of your endeavors? Most of us claim that it’s easier to say, “Thank you!” to a police officer who has just given us a speeding ticket than to acknowledge our own strengths or past successes.
Jun 1, 2009
BREATHING (NOT STUFFING) EMOTIONS
No need to rush out of uncomfortable feelings into anesthetizing with food, alcohol, spending, or hyper-fixating on the problems of others to find relief from an anxious mind. We can go into the feeling and witness its transience.
May 1, 2009
MAKING TIME WHEN NONE CAN BE FOUND
Little by little, I realize that nobody ever finds time—time is not lost. Time is actually related to the word “tide” (in Old English “tima”). It’s not a thing, but something that we experience with our senses. Time is something that we carve out of the rocky schedule or impenetrable wall of activity in which we live.
Apr 1, 2009
WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?
Making a decision about “what’s next?” means taking a good look at our own passions, values and life circumstances. Factoring in both our authentic dreams and our realities (and keeping in mind that this first choice won’t necessarily dictate the entire course of our lives) will help us figure out how we want to spend our time and what will help us feel engaged and nourished in the near future. No matter what, clarifying our consciously chosen path is a legitimate part of our ongoing education regarding our life’s particular purpose. As the Taoist immortal Lao Tsu says, “Knowing others is wisdom, knowing ourselves is Enlightenment.”
Mar 1, 2009
BECOME VISIBLE THROUGH E-PUBLISHING TIP SHEETS
Get visible through publishing an online article or tip sheet. There are 77,000 journals and magazines in hard-cover and probably 10 times that many online. Keep fishing and you will be published!
Feb 1, 2009
SETTING INTENTIONS VS. NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
So much has been written in the last hundred years regarding the power of positive thinking, or the magic of thoughts, or the "fundamental law" or "secrets of attraction"--all of these thought to be something over which humans have control via cognitive techniques.
Jan 1, 2009
DO YOU BELIEVE YOU SHAPE YOUR FUTURE?
"Creating Your Own Destiny: How to Get Exactly What You Want Out of Life," written by Patrick Snow, is my favorite self-improvement book this year. Such praise proffered is saying a great deal because my blog, "Helpful
Books," reflects my very choosy appetite.
Dec 1, 2008
STEERING BY STARLIGHT
My readers may have heard of best-selling author Martha Beck through her advice column in "Oprah Magazine" or through her many books: "Expecting Adam," "The Joy Diet," "Leaving the Saints," "Finding Your North Star," or" Four Day Win"–all available at my favorite independent bookstore Powell’s Books. "Psychology Today," "NPR" and "USA Today" consider Martha “the best known Life Coach in America.” Beck is a very straightforward writer who believes each person has an “inner-compass” and has available to them “limitless possibilities” to help them locate their “just right” lives.
Nov 1, 2008
CULTIVATING CALM AMIDST THE STORM
I try to practice what I call, The Four A's: Awakeness, Awareness, Acceptance and Acting skillfully (these are attitudes to which I aspire--something I do totally imperfectly).
Oct 1, 2008
CULTIVATE YOUR INTUITION (a Radio Show)
This month's Ezine is meant to help you authorize your intuition and design your life. By listening to this interview with Jennifer Manlowe (conducted by "Directed Focus" Radio Show founder, David Zarza) you'll see what you can create when you cultivate clarity.
Sep 3, 2008
MINDFULNESS MEDITATION, WHY BOTHER?
Breathing mindfully is like listening to waves on an ocean, something to which we are always available to attend. This practice takes practice. It’s like training a skittish, stray cat to “stay still” and trust that today will take care of itself.
Aug 1, 2008
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN
You can commit to broader understanding of others and yourself and learn to be more adaptable, more capable of successful intimacy. When you understand each of the four styles, how to recognize them in others, and how to adapt to them in key ways, you can have greater ease in almost any interpersonal situation.
Jul 1, 2008
SO YOU WANT TO WRITE YOUR FIRST BOOK..
“When I start a book, I always think it’s patently absurd that I can write one. No one, certainly not me, can write a book 500 pages long. But I know I can write 15 pages, and if I write 15 pages every day, eventually I will have 500 of them.” ~ John Saul
Jun 1, 2008
CAREER SATISFACTION IS UP TO ME
Will you have more work satisfaction in 5 years, 10 years, or 25 years from now? Do you know? Do you have an idea how that will happen? Have you ever dreamed about it or set a goal for acts you can take that will lead to greater professional contentment? Are you willing to take responsibility and recognize that, “connecting to contentment is up to you?"
May 1, 2008
TEN TOOLS FOR LASTING SUCCESS
The essential tools for creating the life we want are our thoughts, attitudes, and emotions…and that’s not a secret—or the secret—kept from the rest of us. Successful people know the tricks for lasting fulfillment, whether they are poets, painters, lawyers, artists, teachers, entrepreneurs or full-time parents working at home. It doesn’t matter whether you believe these Ten Tools are ancient or modern, new or old, true or false; just be open to testing their principles. Be a scientist and a skeptic, experiment!
Apr 1, 2008
WHY HAVE A DREAM?
“...In spite of the difficulties of the moment, I still have a dream.” ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mar 1, 2008
NOTE: I will use your information only to contact you about services and inspirational newsletters. Please know that you can ask me not to contact you again at anytime.
Please see and comment on my new blog: Helpful Books
