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WHAT IF YOUR PRIMARY WORK WAS TO HAVE A GREAT LIFE?
The other day, I overheard a woman asking her friend a disheartening question. She said:
"How can I find direction in my life and career? I hate my job but it's all I've known. I am searching for another gig but I am scared to make the jump as with my current pay, I make ends meet and the healthcare at my current job is decent. How do I make the leap in this depressing economy?"
The pressure she feels to stay with the familiar clearly outweighs her need to try something new. She's not alone, especially in a climate where, at least in the U.S., one-in-five of us are looking for work. But, as my mentor, Barbara Sher says, “Getting stuck in the wrong career is like a horror movie where I’ve been buried and no one can hear my screams!”
I'm certain that earning a living – a livelihood – doesn't have to be soul-deadening. Especially if we learn how to build a deeper sense of inner security alongside connection to a supportive community. These two interdependent projects can function like two wings that help us fly.
"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living." ~ Anaïs Nin
When we tap into both inner and outer resources, we can create a greater sense of possibility. If the idea of group support feels too vulnerable, sometimes working with a coach (one-on-one) can offer more specific support in finding and creating ways to earn that bring more of who you are to what you do.
After all, wouldn't it be great to have someone support you in uncovering your "just right" work in the world (like Goldilocks found her "just right" porridge)? Finding work that you don't hate can seem oxymoronic; doesn't the word “work” translate into something that is hard, laborious, or full of effort?
In conducting research for my article, Will I Ever Find Work That I Don't Hate?, I discovered that the 21st-century workplace is very different than in our grandparents’ time. In today's marketplace, most employers promise "their" workers' nothing in the way of security. They are forever afraid that what they are selling—be it products or a valuable education—is potentially going to be offered more cheaply by mega-stores, online-universities, or manufactured by low-wage, non-union workers abroad.
When we work for an employer who is feeling fragile in her or his business, we feel the pressure to be grateful for doing the work of three people (the other two have been recently "given the axe"). We ask ourselves, "Are we next in the downsizing slaughter?"
It's hard to hold open possibilities in a climate of scarcity. Using our imagination is vital. As best-selling author of A Whole New Mind, Daniel Pink, says, "Lawyers. Accountants. Computer programmers. That’s what our parents encouraged us to become when we grew up. But Mom and Dad were wrong. The future belongs to a very different kind of person with a very different kind of mind. The era of 'left brain' dominance, and the Information Age that it engendered, are giving way to a new world in which 'right brain' qualities-inventiveness, empathy, meaning-predominate."
Doing work that makes us miserable is not worth it. To begin inventing what's next from your heart's desire consider this question: “If you received 40 million dollars (tax free) every 12 months until your death, what would you do with your days, how would you feel like a contribution? What would you do with your time just for fun?”
Another question can also jog your sense of urgent possibility: “If you were told you have 12 hours to live and it was midnight, what would you regret never having done?”
Not everyone believes you can make a living doing what you love to do for others. For instance, the authors of the best-selling book, Who Moved My Cheese?, Spencer Johnson and Kenneth Blanchard, beat the drum of their message to “keep following the cheese” in business. This seemed to be a metaphor for being willing to go with the flow of your times and, if you want to prosper, you must get up early and sniff out the consumer trends of your current cultural moment.
They wrote, “You’ll be wondering who moved YOUR cheese if you don’t keep following the scent of potential profit. Mice know how to do this.”
Perhaps Blanchard and Johnson were operating from a “rat race” mentality. But what we’ve all learned from the recent market crash is that when profit comes before people, we’re more likely to become morally bankrupt, lonely and unsatisfied. We will surely feel stuck in a horror movie of sorts. This is what Buddhists call a hell realm (born of sewing seeds of greed, aggression and ignorance).
Today’s happier income-generators and new entrepreneurs seem to be more willing to create a livelihood based on what energizes them. Truth be told, if you hate your job, you will slowly die inside and everyone will know this—especially your body and, most importantly, your loved ones. Is the pay off worth it?
Can you imagine thinking of your work as fun? Steve Jobs, college drop-out and founder of Apple claims: “If earning our living is what we spend most of our time doing, don’t you think it’s worth finding the kind of work that feeds your soul? Keep searching, it’s worth it.” Jobs goes on to say, “Entrepreneurs are the true creators of security—especially if the measurement is satisfaction for work well done.”
But please be warned: don't think you’ll be able to uncover your “calling” in no time or by reading one more "career-finder" book—especially if you or your family members are freaking out about your depleted bank account(s). What’s required is a willingness to stay open and "in action" about gathering data and experience (from within and all around you). "Jumping right into the pool" is not only a must, it keeps you feeling the momentum that comes when you experiment with what works versus what "feels like work."
Making a transition toward work you feel good about doesn’t always go in smooth or linear ways. It can feel exactly like computer dating—e-Harmony, chemistry.com or Match.com —there is rarely a “just right” feel from the start. Just like Goldilocks, you might have to try a lot more porridge than you’d prefer in order to uncover what feeds you in genuinely satisfying ways.
So much of the “right fit” in work (and love) is born of lots of little actions that can move you into what's more rewarding (financially and emotionally). Just like finding a wonderful companion might happen out of the blue or by dating lots of toads—but certainly won’t be likely if you stay at home, on the computer, watching television, or hanging out with the same old friends—your familiar comfort zone (a.k.a. “passionless rut”).
The most important element for breaking out of scarcity-misery (assuming security can be found "out there") is by having support that helps you see what's possible. This is what your community or coach can offer you. As George Eliot tells us, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” Why not start inventing right where you are? It can start with an intuitive hunch, a dream, a vision or even a rough guess. What helps me imagine a livelihood is to do that which brings me aliveness. Harold T. Whitman offers me a compass-like quote that brings me back home to my heart, again and again.
"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive." ~ H.T. Whitman
Don't wait til some day, let's begin right now!
Want a 30-minute sample session? Call 206.617-8832 or write me on email: jlmanlowe@gmail.com.
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