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Life Design Ezine>
TEN TOOLS FOR LASTING SUCCESS
April 1, 2008
“Whatever you think and ponder upon, that will become the
inclination of the mind.” ~ Buddha
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating
yourself." ~ George Bernard Shaw
The essential tools for creating the life we want are our
thoughts, attitudes, and emotions…and that’s not a
secret—or the secret—kept from the rest of us. Successful
people know the tricks for lasting fulfillment, whether
they are poets, painters, lawyers, artists, teachers,
entrepreneurs or full-time parents working at home. It
doesn’t matter whether you believe these Ten Tools are
ancient or modern, new or old, true or false; just be open
to testing their principles. Be a scientist and a skeptic,
experiment!
#1: Intention is energy. Successful people understand that
singleness-of-purpose is a potent force. There's no room
for wishy-washy, "Oh, I'm thinking about starting my own
business," or "It would be really nice to write this year."
These people put their tetherball pole in the cement and
commit to the game. Dream it up, write it down, act, and it
will get done. Remember Goethe’s claim: "Whatever you can
do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power,
and magic in it."
#2: Clarity is power. Be specific in your mission. But,
before writing down specific goals, consider meditating for
10-minutes first. Empty your mind of “noisy” thinking by
listening to the sound of your breath exhalations as you
exhale, slowly, gently and steadily. Let your intuition
lead. Then begin writing a few drafts of your ideal life
(in no more than a few pages). One important ingredient to
include is a date or specific outcome that you seek. But,
know that if there's no date or specific outcome associated
with the vision mentioned, you can never know if you’re
making progress toward realizing it. Focus on specifics,
i.e., number of clients, artistic goals, non-profit
donations, pages written, etc., and you'll significantly
increase your chances of bringing them forward. As Valerie
Young says, “A dream without a plan of action becomes a
nightmare.” Successful people know that most success is
guided by mental force, but take place in the physical
realm. See also www.ChangingCourse.com
#3: Be firm with your limits. Boundaries, both literally
and figuratively, when set, help you and your neighbors
understand better what you will and will not do. A sign on
your office that says, “NOT NOW” can help you and your
loved ones/colleagues know that they need to avoid you so
you can avoid distractions from your goals. When challenges
to our goals arise, it's easy to fall into distraction by
going online, taking a nap or eating the rest of that pint
of ice cream, etc. Resist the lure to give up your focus.
As Thomas Edison said, “Many of life’s failures are people
who did not realize how close they were to success when
they gave up.”
#4: Seek passion, not profits. Barbara Winter, author of
Making A Living without A Job, says: “Running my own
business has been my favorite adventure (followed by
getting lost in the back streets of Venice), one that
brings daily joy and satisfaction.” When you’re doing what
is fun to do with your time, you'll naturally communicate
about your services with ease, since you believe in them so
deeply. No need to be slick. In pursuing authentic
expression in your work, you’ll be building on your unique
competencies to create a life that generates both money and
meaning. See also www.BarbaraWinter.com. And, if you build
your life’s work around your true interests, that sincere
joy will sustain you during the ebbs and flows in life’s
river—and you will be inspiring to those feeling pounded by
that dreaded tsunami word “recession.” For Jon Stewart’s
take on whether we are even living in such times, see:
"Are we in a Recession?"
#5: Work to connect NOT to impress. As a lodestone attracts
metals, like attracts like. Attracting or magnetizing
right-relationships is not done the way the seduction
magazines tell you. Rather, instead of pretending to be
impressive or charming, know that you are most attractive
to others when your humanness is showing. Doug Englebart
says, “A person’s ability to grow and succeed is largely
related to their ability to suffer embarrassment.” Most of
us cannot relate to your ideal, rather, we relate to your
humanity. Remember, what we’re trying to hide will show up
anyway—often sideways—through the cracks in our façade.
#6: Listen, Listen, Listen and seek understanding through
honest inquiry. Whether we are communicating with our
lover, a CEO, our postal carrier, or children, people want
to feel that what they have to say matters to you, that
they are important and that you care about them. If you are
actually in a conversation, it means you are invested in a
two-way street. When listening, please: (1) pay attention
closely, even if you think you know what the person is
going to say; (2) resist interrupting with the “better”
word for what s/he “means” to say; (3) seek understanding
in their terms and with their words; finally, (4) ask a
sincere, open-ended, and honest question—a question you
don’t know the answer to. Truman Capote must have been told
this a lot because here is a very important quote of his:
“A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue.”
#7: Expect the best, do your best. Henry Ford stated,
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're
right." Fear and self-doubt erode self-confidence, which is
the currency of successful people. Expect great things from
yourself and put forth the effort to build the foundation
for your dreams that support your aims and values. As the
Zen master says, “When chopping wood, chop wood, when
carrying water, carry water.” Let yourself be purposeful
and one-pointed and you’ll not only complete your work, the
fruit of delivering on your word, your integrity, will
grow.
#8: Practice gratitude and generosity at the same time.
Give thanks for all that you have, for no matter what your
situation, there is much for which to be grateful.
Generosity shown to loved-ones, clients, partners,
salespeople, and others strengthens these important ties.
Gratitude also lightens your spirit during challenging
times, and keeps setbacks in perspective. Going through a
list of my top ten sites for gratitude allows me to
celebrate every day and, sometimes, even brings me enough
relaxation to help me fall asleep at night.
#9: Celebrate all along the way. There’s one thing I’ve
heard from every achieving (but not yet successful) client
who came to me totally burnt out: “Is this all there is?”
What was missing, you might be wondering? No matter how
often the client had achieved a milestone, s/he never
celebrated their progress, they just kept pushing the
Sisyphean boulder up Mount Hades and suffered silently on
their way back down until the next day—when they started in
again on the thankless-achievement cycle. Keep a reward
system alive for you and receive a part of it every day. In
other words, make a list of 10 treats (these can even
include food or TV—no shame there—but the other 8 treats
need to be a little more creative). To bump up this energy,
invite friends or colleagues to join in on the celebration.
People who celebrate with others all along the way find
lasting energy and stamina to keep moving forward in
service of their dreams. As my local entrepreneurial hero,
Molly Gordon, says, “Think of this as energy accounting.
The energy you bring into your business needs to match the
energy you put out. If it takes a monthly massage, a gym
membership, and a generous book budget for you to be and do
what you promise your customers, you need to bring in
enough money or other resources to fund those things.”
#10: Consider giving it away! As it says in the Gospel of
Mark [4:25], "By your standard of measure it will be
measured to you; and more will be given you besides. For
whoever has, to him more shall be given; and whoever does
not have, even what he has shall be taken away from him."
We can take this parable as an invitation to honestly
investigate what it is we are here to share and why it is
of value. If what we have is our true gift, we will attract
those who want not only authenticity but want what is
mutually beneficial. If we have nothing to give, we will
never have enough—lack is our default consciousness and, as
we’re discovering, our mindset shapes our future. Simply
put, by giving our best, we get the best. Why not consider
being a mentor to another in business, the same business in
which you are succeeding or wanting to succeed. We never
have to arrive before we can share what we know…trust me,
I’m an educator—we always teach that which we need to learn
ourselves!
See also: http://www.bbbs.org
Take what you like about the Ten Essential Tools above and
know that there is so much more to learn about creating
true fulfillment. As Winston Churchill said at the last
great speech given at the end of serving as England's Prime
Minister, “This is not the end. It is not even the
beginning of the end. It is, perhaps, the end of the
beginning.” In truth, these suggestions are meant to be be
an inspirational kick-start to get us going again and
again. Like life, like change, there is no particular or
necessary order for these suggestions or days upon which
these actions are to be performed. This means that year
after year you can mine for gold these Ten Essential Tools.
Let yourself start over at any time. As a matter of fact,
let yourself “start over” all the time and then, because of
all that practice, it will be easier to let others do so as
well. This easy grace that flows and flows might be one of
the more essential tools for living well.
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