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Life Design Ezine>
CAREER SATISFACTION IS UP TO ME
May 1, 2008
My work and learning as a creative career counselor has
taught me that Agnes Repplier was right when she said,“It
is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not
possible to find it elsewhere.”
The truism that “satisfaction is an inside job” doesn't
mean that we only search for job satisfaction within; we
all need enlivening work, supportive relationships,
optimistic colleagues and a friendly sense of community. We
all know that, in terms of success, none of us is an island
unto ourselves—especially in work, where making lasting
connections is mandatory for success!
Taking responsibility for job satisfaction simply means
that we take daily actions that create and nourish a
rewarding, well-rounded and successful life. I call these
actions “attunements” and see such work as similar to the
work of a pilot who "auto-corrects" or regularly adjusts
small details in flight in accordance with her/his compass.
Too many people—especially those enslaved by the
pseudo-predictable wage/benefits mentality—today look at
the idea of work fulfillment as utterly impossible or
worse; as something that will come to them from someone
else or from some external fortune [i.e., becoming an heir
to a mysteriously-wealthy relative or by winning the
Lottery].
Some of us wait and wait for happiness to strike: until our
hard work pays off [our mounting debt?], or we feel
recognized for our tireless efforts, or earn enough money
to live comfortably, or god-forbid, until we retire. And
then the wait is over, and it is too late to do anything.
Our life is spent, our energy is depleted and now we are
filled with regret, resignation, rancor, and perhaps a
little fury.
The New Yorker Magazine (February, 27, 2006) found that
"within a year, lottery winners and paraplegics have both
(on average) returned most of the way to their baseline of
happiness." But regret at the end of life needn’t be true
for 21st Century independent entrepreneurs. It is up to us.
The fact is that nobody else is going to change our
happiness “set point.” As comedian Carol Burnett says,
"Only I can change my life, no one can do it for me."
My creative career clients and friends often balk at first
when I say, "career contentment is up to you—and yet,
you’re not alone in creating it!" Because I’ve been a
philosophy and religion professor, and creative career
counselor for years, I’ve witnessed and experienced for
myself a mysterious component to any lasting vocational
contentment. I call this mystery “a kind of magic” or that
"third thing" that I can't explain. It seems to emerge when
we follow "the golden thread" of that which seems to
genuinely enliven me. The truest treasures sought within
ourselves, and our enlivening interactions, can help us let
go of trying so hard to get that "brass ring" outside
ourselves.
Of course, because of my vocation—to help you find yours—I
find that having a career mentor helps me keep my eye on
the prize—those golden threads in life. Without allies,
everybody loses; because, as Barbara Sher says, "isolation
is a dream-killer!" But, still, no one can knock at the
door of contentment for us (whether we’re knocking at the
door of a new job, a Zen monastery or heaven’s gate). The
footwork of creating a network of support is ours to do.
Regardless of your genetic makeup, personality, or
background, you can learn to follow your own road to the
gold, take responsibility for your work contentment and
attend to joy in creating an awesome and enlivening
work-life balance. I believe this power is within all of
us. As the Dalai Lama has said, “Don’t wait until it’s too
late. Be happy now!”
I find it also helps to remember these timeless truths:
You reap what you sow: One of my clients is an eco-educator
who not only uses her talents for organic gardening to
plant a successful business strategy, she also turns her
love for cooking organically, canning and juicing into a
year round successful venture. She knows this age-old adage
better than most.
No one else can stop you from living your dream: Sure, some
people—the dream-doubters, second-guessers, and
naysayers—may not like your vision, or may think: “it’s
inappropriate for someone your age” or “impractical for a
single-parent,” let’s say. But, they are not attending to
your work/life satisfaction, you are. Ironically, some of
the nastiest naysayers may be family members or friends
concerned with "your" (and perhaps their own) financial
security. It's best to respond to their doom and gloom
predictions of your financial demise with this sentence:
"Thanks for your concern, I’ve been warned!” Then wish them
well and let them go along on their merry way.
Experience the joy of self-determination: Workaholic
entrepreneurs, who live with a martyrdom mentality, never
get to experience the success of an accomplishment because
they are always waiting for someone else to see how hard
they're working or praise them for their sacrifices. Take
it from me, a life-long, Mother-Teresa-wanna-be, when I’m
motivated by your response, the reward never comes; it’s
the Law of Karma.
Framework is everything: As the Buddha pointed out about
2500 years ago, our contentment or suffering is not about
what is happening to us as much as our framework or
relationship to what is happening. Much “right livelihood”
literature promises that your purpose, and vocational
clarity will be followed by "the money," especially if
you're doing what you love. I often reframe this promising
word, "money," as "all kinds of wealth, not just the green
kind."
But remember, you are the ones who decide if your
professional situation is unfair, unbearable, unmanageable,
or manageable. You get no martyr miles or extra credit for
being “a trooper,” or committed to long-suffering.
According to a study by Staats, Armstring-Stassen and
Partillo (1995), "knowing whether someone has recently
suffered a personal setback or personal triumph is not as
good a predictor of how satisfied they are with their lives
as is knowing how they perceive the causes and consequences
of those events."
Practice an attitude of gratitude: I think it was EST
founder Werner Erhard (in the 1970s) who encouraged
participants to “fake it ‘til you make it.” But forcing or
faking anything is not what I’m encouraging here. Rather, I
mean, make (don't hope to find) the time to practice
authentic gratitude; recollect 10 things or people for
which you are truly grateful and do this daily, morning and
evenings, (while in bed), when you’re brain is most porous.
Humans are usually most receptive to auto-suggestion during
alpha-states that are at their peak in the morning and
before falling asleep.
To keep contentment, give it away (unceremoniously). This
one is a tough one for those of us who have a sense of
“never enough” or "scarcity consciousness"—a smokescreen
for low self-worth, in my opinion. If we feel lack all the
time, it's hard to imagine that we have plenty to share; so
we hoard. But, it is precisely because we
“more-comfortable” Americans hoard that we’re not deeply
happy.
If we need people to witness our giving, or if we can't
help bragging about our one-day-a-year donations, soup
kitchen charity, or that time we spent with the
“less-fortunate,” it’s no wonder our happiness isn’t
long-lasting. As the Talmud says, “The reward of giving
depends entirely upon the extent of the unceremonious
kindness in it.”
Let me ask you some final questions: Will you have more
work satisfaction in 5 years, 10 years, or 25 years from
now? Do you know? Do you have an idea how that will happen?
Have you ever dreamed about it or set a goal for acts you
can take that will lead to greater professional
contentment? Are you willing to take responsibility and
recognize that, “connecting to contentment is up to you?"
Believe it or not, you need not wait for “some day” to have
greater vocational fulfillment. No need to wait until next
New Year’s Day to make a resolution toward life and work
satisfaction. Why not get a mentor and ask her or him to
help you get accountable to your own professional vision,
passions and delights? Don't wait for contentment to
arrive, don't wait until some day; you can start these
practices right now.
My latest book can help: Polishing the Mirror: 90 Days to
Vocational Clarity available through
http://www.lulu.com/content/2205198
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