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Life Design Ezine>
CAREER SATISFACTION IS UP TO ME
May 1, 2008
My work and learning as a creative career counselor has taught me that Agnes Repplier was right when she said,“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.”
The truism that “satisfaction is an inside job” doesn't mean that we only search for job satisfaction within; we all need enlivening work, supportive relationships, optimistic colleagues and a friendly sense of community. We all know that, in terms of success, none of us is an island unto ourselves—especially in work, where making lasting connections is mandatory for success!
Taking responsibility for job satisfaction simply means that we take daily actions that create and nourish a rewarding, well-rounded and successful life. I call these actions “attunements” and see such work as similar to the work of a pilot who "auto-corrects" or regularly adjusts small details in flight in accordance with her/his compass.
Too many people—especially those enslaved by the pseudo-predictable wage/benefits mentality—today look at the idea of work fulfillment as utterly impossible or worse; as something that will come to them from someone else or from some external fortune [i.e., becoming an heir to a mysteriously-wealthy relative or by winning the Lottery].
Some of us wait and wait for happiness to strike: until our hard work pays off [our mounting debt?], or we feel recognized for our tireless efforts, or earn enough money to live comfortably, or god-forbid, until we retire. And then the wait is over, and it is too late to do anything. Our life is spent, our energy is depleted and now we are filled with regret, resignation, rancor, and perhaps a little fury.
The New Yorker Magazine (February, 27, 2006) found that "within a year, lottery winners and paraplegics have both (on average) returned most of the way to their baseline of happiness." But regret at the end of life needn’t be true for 21st Century independent entrepreneurs. It is up to us. The fact is that nobody else is going to change our happiness “set point.” As comedian Carol Burnett says, "Only I can change my life, no one can do it for me."
My creative career clients and friends often balk at first when I say, "career contentment is up to you—and yet, you’re not alone in creating it!" Because I’ve been a philosophy and religion professor, and creative career counselor for years, I’ve witnessed and experienced for myself a mysterious component to any lasting vocational contentment. I call this mystery “a kind of magic” or that "third thing" that I can't explain. It seems to emerge when we follow "the golden thread" of that which seems to genuinely enliven me. The truest treasures sought within ourselves, and our enlivening interactions, can help us let go of trying so hard to get that "brass ring" outside ourselves.
Of course, because of my vocation—to help you find yours—I find that having a career mentor helps me keep my eye on the prize—those golden threads in life. Without allies, everybody loses; because, as Barbara Sher says, "isolation is a dream-killer!" But, still, no one can knock at the door of contentment for us (whether we’re knocking at the door of a new job, a Zen monastery or heaven’s gate). The footwork of creating a network of support is ours to do.
Regardless of your genetic makeup, personality, or background, you can learn to follow your own road to the gold, take responsibility for your work contentment and attend to joy in creating an awesome and enlivening work-life balance. I believe this power is within all of us. As the Dalai Lama has said, “Don’t wait until it’s too late. Be happy now!”
I find it also helps to remember these timeless truths:
You reap what you sow: One of my clients is an eco-educator who not only uses her talents for organic gardening to plant a successful business strategy, she also turns her love for cooking organically, canning and juicing into a year round successful venture. She knows this age-old adage better than most.
No one else can stop you from living your dream: Sure, some people—the dream-doubters, second-guessers, and naysayers—may not like your vision, or may think: “it’s inappropriate for someone your age” or “impractical for a single-parent,” let’s say. But, they are not attending to your work/life satisfaction, you are. Ironically, some of the nastiest naysayers may be family members or friends concerned with "your" (and perhaps their own) financial security. It's best to respond to their doom and gloom predictions of your financial demise with this sentence: "Thanks for your concern, I’ve been warned!” Then wish them well and let them go along on their merry way.
Experience the joy of self-determination: Workaholic entrepreneurs, who live with a martyrdom mentality, never get to experience the success of an accomplishment because they are always waiting for someone else to see how hard they're working or praise them for their sacrifices. Take it from me, a life-long, Mother-Teresa-wanna-be, when I’m motivated by your response, the reward never comes; it’s the Law of Karma.
Framework is everything: As the Buddha pointed out about 2500 years ago, our contentment or suffering is not about what is happening to us as much as our framework or relationship to what is happening. Much “right livelihood” literature promises that your purpose, and vocational clarity will be followed by "the money," especially if you're doing what you love. I often reframe this promising word, "money," as "all kinds of wealth, not just the green kind."
But remember, you are the ones who decide if your professional situation is unfair, unbearable, unmanageable, or manageable. You get no martyr miles or extra credit for being “a trooper,” or committed to long-suffering. According to a study by Staats, Armstring-Stassen and Partillo (1995), "knowing whether someone has recently suffered a personal setback or personal triumph is not as good a predictor of how satisfied they are with their lives as is knowing how they perceive the causes and consequences of those events."
Practice an attitude of gratitude: I think it was EST founder Werner Erhard (in the 1970s) who encouraged participants to “fake it ‘til you make it.” But forcing or faking anything is not what I’m encouraging here. Rather, I mean, make (don't hope to find) the time to practice authentic gratitude; recollect 10 things or people for which you are truly grateful and do this daily, morning and evenings, (while in bed), when you’re brain is most porous. Humans are usually most receptive to auto-suggestion during alpha-states that are at their peak in the morning and before falling asleep.
To keep contentment, give it away (unceremoniously). This one is a tough one for those of us who have a sense of “never enough” or "scarcity consciousness"—a smokescreen for low self-worth, in my opinion. If we feel lack all the time, it's hard to imagine that we have plenty to share; so we hoard. But, it is precisely because we “more-comfortable” Americans hoard that we’re not deeply happy.
If we need people to witness our giving, or if we can't help bragging about our one-day-a-year donations, soup kitchen charity, or that time we spent with the “less-fortunate,” it’s no wonder our happiness isn’t long-lasting. As the Talmud says, “The reward of giving depends entirely upon the extent of the unceremonious kindness in it.”
Let me ask you some final questions: Will you have more work satisfaction in 5 years, 10 years, or 25 years from now? Do you know? Do you have an idea how that will happen? Have you ever dreamed about it or set a goal for acts you can take that will lead to greater professional contentment? Are you willing to take responsibility and recognize that, “connecting to contentment is up to you?"
Believe it or not, you need not wait for “some day” to have greater vocational fulfillment. No need to wait until next New Year’s Day to make a resolution toward life and work satisfaction. Why not get a mentor and ask her or him to help you get accountable to your own professional vision, passions and delights? Don't wait for contentment to arrive, don't wait until some day; you can start these practices right now.
My latest book can help: Polishing the Mirror: 90 Days to Vocational Clarity available through http://www.lulu.com/content/2205198
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