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Life Design Ezine>
WILL COACHING MAKE MY RESOLUTIONS COME TRUE?
January 1, 2010
"You cannot teach humans anything. You can only help them discover it within themselves." ~ Galileo
For about thirty years now, helping others develop personal and social skills that enable them to be more successful in work used to be the domain of Human Resources. Solving such concerns in life and work has since meandered over to a field of its own called "Life Coaching." Such coaching first found broad acceptance in corporate culture and then spread into myriad domains where people value personal growth.
A simple formula is this. Coaching looks forward from one's being, consulting looks at what's wrong in the present that needs to be fixed by the consultant/expert, counseling with a therapist looks largely to the past to help clients disentangle from their unhealed/non-integrated experiences holding them back.
To reiterate, the essence of ontological coaching is the word "essence." This coaching model assumes that we all have a unique being within us that is prolific, unrepeatable, and a necessary contribution to the whole. And being in alignment with one's being (or essence) leads to greater ease and fulfillment.
The primary focus is on who you are being which, of course, includes what you are doing in the world. Focusing on new goals or New Year's resolutions (more doing) wouldn't necessarily be a total mistake but that focus will miss the transformation from doing to being that could happen with support from an ontological model of coaching which focuses on bringing who you are to what you do.
How is the work of a life coach different than what you do?
As a Book Coach who fosters writing from the inside out, I concentrate on coaching clients to express themselves in writing, through publishing and by sharing their work with the world. The ontological coaching principles are the same, (personally-expressive, authentic and project focused), but with a book coach, the project is to complete the goal of becoming a published author.
Who do you coach?
My clients range from those who are "empty-nesters," screenwriters, retired U.S. Air Force officers, Fortune 500 CEOs, special education teachers, disgruntled graduates, to budding entrepreneurs. One thing they share is a dream to be become published authors. Most of my clients are interested in getting all the tools they can muster to fulfill their dreams of becoming published authors. They recognize that results are not just a matter of making New Year's Resolutions, but of living with integrity regarding their commitments, daily intentions, choices and actions.
What do you enjoy about being a coach?
The best part of being a book coach is that I get to see people fulfill their wish to bring who they are to their writing: "writing from the inside out." I love to witness their unique voices coming into view.
How do you coach someone?
To work with me, all you need is a phone, a computer and internet access. Coaching is a form of focused support, collaborative innovation and intuitive direction. We "meet" on the phone once-a-week to uncover what's working and not working with your small steps (co-created homework) for the week. Every week, there's progress made, acknowledged and built-upon for the following week until the project is complete, i.e., my client is holding their book in their hands.
What do people want from a coach?
They might want to restore a bit of sanity in their lives or get clear about what they really want to do with their lives and what specific actions they need to take. As I said, in working with me to uncover these things, writing is always involved. Sometimes we'll even use assignments from my books "Getting Into Print: Become A Visible Expert through Online Publishing" or "Polishing the Mirror: 90 Days to Vocational Clarity."
Is there a common problem people struggle with when being coached?
Self-doubt. Doubt in their own ability to do things, fear of failure and fear of making a mistake and looking foolish in front of their peers and family. Fear is pretty universal whether you're trying to break out of a box of some kind, i.e., a box of inertia, shame, perfectionism or just self-pity.
How did you become a life coach?
As a professor of psychology and religion since 1993, I have given lots of advice to students about the powerful role they can play in their future. I had never heard of life coaching but I looked into it when I lost my teaching job in 2005. Once I found a great school and a sturdy foundation to be guided by, I garnered as much experience and education as I could muster while building my own coaching business, "Life Design Publishing: Writing from the Inside Out." I have since learned coaching is not the same as advice giving, it's a lot more like serving the client in bringing forth what is within them just waiting to be born. I'm more of their mid-wife than their athletic-trainer with a whistle in my mouth. The fierceness-of-a-professor-who-cares is still there but most of that energy is used to support clients in turning their insights into actions.
What do you find rewarding about coaching?
I see people taking risks and doing things that give them a greater sense of joy. They allow themselves to check off their "bucket list" one of their most cherished wishes (to be a published writer). They get to "lean into" challenges that have been nagging at them from within, asking them to experiment and believe in themselves enough to leave the land of the familiar and try something new. As my mentor Valerie Young says, "If you don't try something new, you'll get what you've always gotten."
What do you say to those who are clueless about what to write or do next with their creative instincts?
I offer a quote that anchors me every time I get that familiar sense of "I'm utterly lost, what should I do?" Author H.T. Whitman says, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive!"
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